No I can't write a blog post about just one single thing. I have ADD. This is what you're gonna get. Enjoy it. :D
The CB is what we employees called Cracker Barrel for short. I no longer count myself among their ranks. I really enjoyed (most of) the people I worked with there but waitressing turned out to be too taxing for me to do what I'm supposed to be doing right now, and that's WRITE! It did give me some interesting experiences and the opportunity to meet some interesting people. I was that waitress who wanted to hear all your gossip or would laugh at your funny stories. But I kept telling people I was a writer and working on a novel, which isn't really true. I am a writer and I want to be working on a novel, however I don't seem to be writing much. Part of that is that I was too effing tired all the time when I wasn't working (which was more than I signed on for). The other part that was holding me back I'll cover later so stay tuned. My manager understood and was pretty nice about it. He even left me eligible for rehire if I wanted to go back. So I'm looking for new jobs again but not in so much desperation.
To interrupt this regularly scheduled ramble about my personal life: some political thoughts. I'm at Chic-Fil-a right now, while I ate my breakfast I read the paper and heard about the recent threats against legislatures both red and blue over the Health Care Reform. First can I say form the POV of someone who may need national health care I support it overall. Everything has flaws when it starts out and they're already ironing out the kinks. But I'm fascinated by the anger some people have inside them. I just don't understand the kind of fuel someone would need to draw a noose and pick a representative's name to put on it or to come up with all the awful things they've said on phone calls. It's just a kind of anger I don't understand. I really need to write about this somehow. It's always boggled my mind. When I took a seminar on violence in the American Renaissance (the literary period right before the Civil War) we talked about it. My professor said that he thinks some people have anger closer to the surface than others. I guess my common sense or inherent laziness usually wins out over such fits of anger. Something to chew on...
So the other part of what's been holding me back from writing is fear. Fear holds me back a lot in life. My old boss once told me my fear was like a really big rock I didn't have a carry around. (He's a very dear friend now.) Phillip is also the person who pulled the blinders from my eyes and confronted my about whether or not I was writing. I'm a perfectionist and I know a lot of other writers have this problem too. That internal editor who looks down her horn-rimmed glasses at you and tells you you're not good enough. Well that bitch can stand aside now. I'm going to confront my fear and challenge myself to write just a little bit everyday. And it can suck! I've always remembered the advice John Scalzi gave us at the '08 ArmadilloCon writing workshop. That you can't be afraid to suck. Because everyone sucks in the beginning and if you keep trying one day you won't suck so bad.
Here's to sucking! Now I'm going to get to work. Until later! You'll be hearing more from me. I know I always say that but I mean it this time!
